Cheese Clock? Who Knew!

I know that there are all kinds of crazy things out in the marketplace.  You can travel to Wisconsin to see the biggest ball of twine or visit the mustard museum.  You can head to Boston and stay in a refurbished 1800s jail.  There’s no end to the crazy things that are out there.

I’m reminded of that every time I get into a Hampton Inn elevator where they feature some of the craziest destinations one could visit.  And, being somewhat cynical, I didn’t think I could be shocked by something that might be a little crazy.

That is until I visited one of my favorite cheese sources: The Artisanal Cheese Company.  I was surfing through their website looking for a possible cheese pairing for an upcoming Monday’s @ Mark’s evening when I ran across their Cheese Clock.

Now, I’m not talking about a clock that’s literally made out of cheese but where types of cheese are placed around an imaginary clock based on their make-up and in the suggested order of eating.   

Who knew?

It starts with mild cheeses moving through medium and bold cheeses ending with strong cheeses. Now I don’t really have a problem with the Cheese Clock because, frankly, it’s quite handy when thinking about pairing cheese and wine.  I did wonder why the clock starts at the 6 o’clock position. My German heritage had me blaming the French for this abomination. **

But being a guy, you probably have already guessed that I looked at the clock but didn’t really read the information that went along with it.  After all, instructions are for cowards, aren’t they? So here’s the deal, apparently it matches the position of the cheese on a plate.  But what if your cheese plate isn’t round?  What do you do then?

These questions and many more surfaced the deeper I began to dig into this cheese clock.  For instance, a strong cheese and a stinky cheese are two very different things.  I’ve had the Epoisses before.  Would you consider it a medium cheese?  Napoleon supposedly was a fan of this cheese – and I am, too.  But who would have thought it to be a medium cheese with Bold and Strong yet to come? I certainly didn’t.

Shows how much I know!

I buy that Gruyere and Parmigiano Reggiano are both bold cheeses but Uplands Pleasant Ridge?  Wow.  I have a lot to learn.  Isn’t it great that there are things like the Cheese Clock out there?  I know that sounds sarcastic, but it really isn’t. 

I love trying new things – whether it’s a new wine, a new recipe or even a new food.  I would never have thought to pair honey with a blue cheese if I hadn’t read about that somewhere.  So now, as I peruse the Cheese Clock, I’m running through my wine cabinet thinking about taking a wine and pairing it with some new cheese. 

I’m just going to make sure I know the time!

** This just in from Max McCalman from the Artisanal Cheese Company:

"As with most dishes chefs serve, the focus is on what is at 6:00, closest to you. The far end of the plate comes later.  Cheese has its peasant roots. You're hungry? Whatever is closest goes in your mouth first. And besides, the "clock" assembly of cheese plates has not been embraced anyway. The cheese(s) on the plate(s) end up wherever they fall. The more rigid clock construct is provided for people who do not readily recognize the progressions as illogical as they may be. And personally, my day begins closer to 6 than to 12."