What Role Does Food Play in Life?

I had a great dinner the other night with some folks before my boss, Eric, and I gave a presentation on social media to a regional NCDC conference. It wasn’t so much the food that made the dinner but the company.

Don’t get me wrong, the food was wonderful. Really. The food was great.  The restaurant was a small, family owned Sicilian restaurant and the food was created with the care that one would give to a special family dinner.

Please wait 10 seconds for a shameless plug:

If you’re near Orangeburg, NY, you simply must try Del ‘Arte.  (Now back to the blog.)

But what made the dinner great was the conversation and the relationships we were establishing around the meal.  I think I swung the topic to the changes we see in how we experience food today in America.
I was lamenting to my older sister, Peggy, that the role food plays in the Unitied States has lost a lot of impact.  How today food is nothing more than an object to provid nourishment and we seem to have lost the impact in our lives and in our relationships that happen around food.

Ok.Ok. Those who know me well, know that I don’t have any biological sisters.  Sr. Peggy is Dominican Sister who works out of Sparkill, NY.  The picture of a family sitting around the table laughing and talking and eating, and, in the process, building deep, unbreakable bonds too often is a thing of the past.

Sr. Peggy talked about what it was like growing up in her Italian/Irish family and how meals were the highlight of the day. That’s not a picture I hear about much anymore.

Perhaps that’s why too many meals happen in front of the television.  I’m as guilty of that as anybody.  How often do we rush through a meal to get on with something else. But I have been wondering if, perhaps, our desire to do everything doesn’t come at the expense of our relationships.

I wish that I could go back and change my priorities over the years because I didn’t make dinner a priority.  I spent too much time working . . . too much time doing things and not enough time building relationships with family and friends.

So, I guess my question is this: what role should food play in our lives?

Am I being unrealistic in hoping that we’ll slow down a little bit and let food become the setting that does more than provide nourishment.  Perhaps we can let ourselves be nurtured around the table through the relationships we keep.

Recently, I have been able to re-establish a relationship with a friend I worked with years ago. In the past, our relationship had been limited to our work together. Most recently, he’s traveling up to Chicago once a month or so and I try to have him come over for a home-cooked meal.

I’m just guessing that my meal is a little better than what he might get at some fast food take out or a pizza in his room. But more than that, it’s given us time to really dig below the surface of work and build a real relationship.

That’s really what the food provides . . . a venue for personal nurturement.  I think that our European cousins have this idea down pat.  On the few occasions I’ve had the privilege of visiting, we’ve enjoyed special meals together. It’s not what we’re used to here.  They begin about nine and end well after midnight.

But it’s through those times that the roots of relationship go deep.

Perhaps my favorite memory of all time happened more than a few years ago.  My grandmother had just passed away and all but a handful of the cousins came back for the memorial service.  I don’t think we’ve all been together since then.

If you knew my grandmother, she was a very conservative, Pennsylvania Dutch woman. A pastor’s wife most of her life. I bet she never once stepped foot in a bar. And, yet, here we all were gathered around a table in a room off the bar.

There were more stories shared . . . more laughter . . . more joy than I had experienced in a long time.  Yes it was a sad occasion yet we were all here enjoying the relationship we shared as family even though we rarely spend any time together. It was a rich evening spent over food and wine (or other beverages)!

It’s too bad that those experiences are so few and far between.  I am planning on making more time in my life to use food not just for nourishment but for the nurturment of the soul.

And, to my cousins (and my older Sister Peggy), thanks for memories that won’t ever be lost and the time we spent together not only sharing a meal . . . but in sharing life. You have made my life richer for those moments.